Understanding Controlling Behavior Under Swedish Law
In Sweden, all decisions concerning children after a separation must be based on the child’s best interests (barnets bästa), as required by Swedish law. However, in some custody and visitation disputes, one parent may try to maintain control or power over the other parent—even after the relationship has ended.
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This behavior, often referred to as controlling behavior or coercive control, is not specifically defined in Swedish law, but it can affect how Swedish courts assess issues like custody (vårdnad), residence (boende), and contact (umgänge).
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If you suspect that your ex-partner is using your children, finances, or legal threats to control you, this article provides practical information and a self-test to help you reflect on your situation.
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Self-Test – 10 Yes/No Questions
Answer yes or no to the following questions. There are no right or wrong answers; the goal is to help you understand your situation.
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Do you often receive threatening or accusatory messages from your ex-partner?
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Does your ex-partner refuse to cooperate on your children’s daily needs, such as school or activities?
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Does your ex-partner make unreasonable demands in exchange for allowing you to see or contact your children?
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Does your ex-partner influence your children to reject or distance themselves from you?
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Does your ex-partner try to control who you meet or how you live your life after the separation?
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Has your ex-partner delayed or started legal processes to create pressure against you?
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Does your ex-partner refuse to pay their share of the children’s costs or joint expenses?
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Does your ex-partner try to control your finances, for example by withholding money?
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Do you feel afraid or stressed about having contact with your ex-partner?
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Do you feel that your ex-partner is still trying to have power over you, even though the relationship is over?
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How to Interpret Your Answers
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Several “yes” answers may indicate that you are experiencing controlling behavior.
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Even one or two “yes” answers can be serious, especially if children are affected.
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Answering “no” to all questions suggests that your ex-partner is not showing this kind of behavior.
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Remember, even one or two signs of control may be reason enough to seek support, especially if the situation is causing harm to you or your children.
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What Can You Do if You Are Affected?
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Keep records of all communication that shows controlling behavior.
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Seek support from people you trust, such as friends, family, or support organizations.
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Consider getting legal advice if you need help with custody, visitation, or financial matters.
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It’s important to remember that you are not alone, and help is available if you need it.
